“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous but grievous.” The words used here are real important to help us understand how correction needs to work. The word grievous, or to grieve, usually has to do with a loss. It is not just the thought of a loss, but dealing with the finality of a loss. When it refers to a thought about a loved one who we have lost, it has a finality, but there is a grief associated with that “finality” that we have to work through. You can’t just turn grief off. Sometimes people have to see the person who has died in their dead state because it helps them in their mind to accept the fact that it has happened. If someone is taken away and you don’t know what has happened to them, you feel terrible and you are often wondering what ever happened to them. This often happens with prisoners of war. Not knowing what has happened to them prevents the finality or closure that we need, and it can lead to many troubling thoughts.
In dealing with the finality of a loss, the grieving can go on for quite some time. The returning memories can bring back the grieving again. It is healthy to go through the grieving time, and not to try to sidestep it.
Now back to the scripture’s thought “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous…” In the chastening of the Lord, He will bring something he is correcting us for keenly to our attention. If the Lord puts his finger on something, we must accept it as “final”. There needs to be a finality about it, or else we will not properly grieve through it, and healing will not come. The enemy of our soul will try to work in a way that seems to create a confusion, but when the Lord corrects there’s a clear finality about it. If we don’t accept the Lord’s “finger”, we will not go through the grieving process correctly – and consequently we will not receive the spiritual healing we need.