Mature Class Study, teacher Edith Tolbert.
Kindness is a quality shown in the way people talk and act. God wants us to choose to be clothed with kindness every day.
Proverbs 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
The scripture is talking about virtuous women and specifically about the Church Of God, the bride of Christ. This verse is not just for women. Having wisdom in our tongue and the law of kindness is for everyone. Kindness is treating others with respect; state of being that includes attributes of loving affection, sympathy, patience, friendliness, pleasantness, gentleness, and goodness. Kindness isn’t a feeling or emotion but is a choice. Unkind means to be mean, cruel, callous, heartless, hurtful, and harsh. They’re scoffers, pessimists, selfish, fault finders, sarcastic, and rude. God doesn’t want these characteristics in us. He wants us to be gracious, kind, gentle, and loving one to another.
People get blood tests to check their cholesterol and sugar level. It would be nice to have a test for the fruits of the Spirit. If it came back that you’re doing okay in peace and joy, but your patience needs improvement. We can work on our kindness then. We aren’t born kind so when children play and one wants a toy, they just grab it from another. Sometimes they bite the other to get the toy. They’re selfish. God has to teach us how to be kind to others.
Children knew Jesus was kind. They knew there was something wrong with the disciples when they rebuked them and tried to push them away from Jesus. The disciples were saved but they still had the carnal nature. Another time they wanted to cause fire to destroy people that weren’t receiving them. That wasn’t kind. After the day of Pentecost when the Holy Spirit came and the disciples were sanctified, their whole attitude and demeanor changed. They had kindness.
Matthew 19:13-15 Then were there brought…little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not…for of such is the kingdom of heaven…
When we first got saved, we still had attributes and actions that weren’t kind and God corrected us. We have to keep our heart with all diligence. If we say things out of anger, resentment or rudeness, that comes out of our heart. God doesn’t want any of these attitudes in our hearts so they don’t come out our mouth. The law of kindness needs to control our mouth, so we won’t say things that hurt when we’re provoked or irritated with our spouse, children, or others.
Proverbs 4:23-24 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.
Proverbs says a lot about the mouth. Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Whoever keeps his mouth and tongue, keeps his soul from trouble (Proverbs 21:23). How we react either stirs up anger or soothes situations. A soft answer turns away wrath but grievous words stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1). Fools utter all their mind but wise men keep it in until afterward (Proverbs 29:11). Having the law of kindness means we won’t say whatever comes to our mind.
Psalm 141:3-5 Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Incline not my heart to any evil thing, to practise wicked works with men that work iniquity…Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head…my prayer also shall be in their calamities.
We need to be filled with the Holy Spirit to help us watch what comes out of our mouth. We need corrected when we get saved because we don’t do everything right. God reproves us through messages, Bible reading, or personal contact. He will say you’re not doing it right here, but I need you to change and do it this other way. That’s what it means, “let the righteous smite me and it shall be a kindness…” God always reproves with kindness, not in anger or outbursts. We need to make sure we reprove our children or others in kindness. Before we were saved God kindly reproved us and led us to salvation.
Matthew 15:18-20 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies…
God wants us to control our mouth and thinking. If we think angry things or about all our hurts, we’ll say things we shouldn’t because that’s how we’re meditating. Revenge, bitterness, and anger will get in our heart. Get away to pray when you’re provoked, angry, or stressed. Ask God for grace to have victory to not say displeasing things. Training takes many times of asking God to help us control our mouth. Unless you pray when anger or upset comes, what you say will be uncontrolled.
Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that…edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit…Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away…with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving…as God…hath forgiven you.
God wants us love like Jesus says – love your enemies and do good to those that despitefully use you. The law of kindness will control what we say in every situation. We grieve the Holy Spirit if we don’t edify but speak in anger or backbiting.
Luke 6:35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
People remember kindness longer than they remember that you invited them to the Church Of God. If they don’t see you are kind, you don’t have a testimony to them about the things of God. God is kind to the unthankful and evil. He asks us to be kind to them no matter what they do to us. He wants them to see kindness in our everyday demeanor, in our face, our smile, and our actions. Paul didn’t react the same way people reacted to him. If accused, he blessed them. When persecuted, he took it patiently and endured. He didn’t find fault when defamed but answered to bring comfort.
I Corinthians 4:11-13 (Amplified Classic) To this hour we have gone both hungry and thirsty; we [habitually] wear but one undergarment [and shiver in the cold]; we are roughly knocked about and wander around homeless. And we still toil unto weariness [for our living], working hard with our own hands. When men revile us [wound us with an accursed sting], we bless them. When we are persecuted, we take it patiently and endure it. When we are slandered and defamed, we [try to] answer softly and bring comfort. We…are now the rubbish and filth of the world [the offscouring…scum of the earth].
Health facts about being kind: helps alleviate stress, increases energy, and helps our heart by lower blood pressure. Kind people have 23% lower stress hormone and age slower than people that are stressed out. It makes us happier and more satisfied in life. It helps others if we’re kind. Moses was kind to Reuel’s daughters in Midian. They came to water the sheep and he filled the water troughs (Exodus 2:15-21). Reuel told them to bring Moses to dinner. Moses married his daughter, Zipporah.
God wants people to see a kind attitude in us. If we don’t have the love of God and law of kindness in our in our heart and tongue, we’ll just be a tinkling symbol and sounding brass – just noise. God wants more than noise out of us. We must be filled with the love of God by being sanctified so we learn how God wants us to be kind. He wants kindness to flow out of us.
I Corinthians 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues…of angels, and have not charity, I am…as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
I Corinthians 13:4-5 (Amplified Classic) Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or…way, for it is not self-seeking…touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done…to a suffered wrong].
David was kind in many ways. As he left Jerusalem when Absalom was trying to take over as king, David didn’t want any bloodshed. Shimei came cursing David and casting stones at him. Abishai wanted to take off Shimei’s head, but David knew God was allowing things to happen. He didn’t want anything to happen for trying to get revenge on Shimei.
II Samuel 16:5 And when king David came…a man of the family…of Saul, whose name was Shimei…cursed still as he came.
II Samuel 16:9 Then said Abishai…Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? let me go…and take off his head.
II Samuel 18:12-13 And the man said unto Joab, Though I should receive a thousand shekels of silver…yet would I not put forth mine hand against the king’s son: for…the king charged thee…that none touch the young man Absalom…
Four years later David returned to Jerusalem. Shimei saw he sinned, changed his attitude, and asked forgiveness. David said Abishai was an adversary for wanting to kill Shimei. David had a kind heart, was willing to forgive and go on like nothing happened. God wants people to see kindness in our heart by our actions, our eyes, our smile, at home, at work, at school.
II Samuel 19:19-20 And said unto the king, Let not my lord impute iniquity unto me, neither…remember that which thy servant did perversely…For thy servant doth know that I have sinned…I am come the first this day…to meet my lord the king.
II Samuel 19:22-23 And David said, What have I to do with you…that ye should this day be adversaries unto me? shall there any man be put to death…I know that I am this day king over Israel?…king said unto Shimei, Thou shalt not die…