Mature Class Study, teacher Alyce Crain.

Agreeing to disagree is resolving a matter by each one accepting that they disagree but they remain amicable. Amicable is friendly and supportive of each other, without bad feelings. The term “agreeing to disagree” originated when two men in the English evangelical movement were at odds with each other – John Wesley and George Whitefield. Wesley emphasized free choice to be saved from sin. Whitefield believed people are predestinated or predetermined to be saved by God. He felt he was harvesting those already predetermined to be saved. Wesley and Whitefield were strongly opposed to each others’ views but remained amicable and friendly over the years. They agreed to let the other think what they would.

In the Bible, Barnabas and Paul were called to the ministry and had a strong disagreement so they went separate ways. Barnabas from Cyprus was originally called Joses but was renamed Barnabas, son of consolation. He was a prominent leader in the church and vouched for Saul’s faith when he was first saved. Saul had just escaped from some at Jerusalem by being let down outside the wall in a basket. He became Saul’s mentor. Barnabas took Saul, now called Paul, when the church sent to verify new Christians at Antioch. He took Paul with him to various places and their relationship grew.

Acts 13:2 As they ministered to the Lord, and fasted, the Holy Ghost said, Separate me Barnabas and Saul for the work whereunto I have called them.

There came a time when they didn’t agree about taking John Mark (Mark) in the work. Saul didn’t want to take him because Mark had previously left them at Pamphylla. There is a time when the mentee of a mentor breaks away to go on their own. Paul took Silas one direction and Barnabas took Mark to Cyprus.

Acts 15:36-40 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do. And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other…Barnabas took Mark…unto Cyprus; And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren…

Who was wrong? Neither one was wrong. They were both greatly used in the early church. God allowed a natural progression and it was time for Paul to continue in his own ministry. Years later there was no bad fruit from their disagreement but they just couldn’t see each other’s view points. Later Paul commended different ones to the brethren to be use to help the Gentiles. Paul had confidence in Mark’s testimony and ability to be a leader in the church.

Colossians 4:10-11 Aristarchus my fellowprisoner saluteth you, and Marcus, sister’s son to Barnabas,(touching whom ye received commandments: if he come unto you, receive him;) And Jesus, which is called Justus, who are of the circumcision. These only are my fellowworkers unto the kingdom of God, which have been a comfort unto me.

We need to keep respect for each other. Our lives are all very different and we come from different backgrounds. We experience different things in Carmichael and Sacramento area so we have different opinions. Only God sees everything clearly but we have limited understanding. We need to keep the unity of the body of Christ and respect of the members. There aren’t any big “I”s or little “you”s even though we have disagreements.

Romans 3:4 God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar…

Remember that the devil is always in the room trying to get us to fight each other, to keep arguments going, and bring thoughts to cause division and confusion.  The devil hates that we’re working for God so he’s out to get us.

I Peter 5:8-9 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

We need to recognize God’s voice and the devils. As Sister Edith Tolbert has taught, God’s voice brings peace, reassurance, enlightenment, and calming. The devil brings upset, fear, confusion, worry, and obsession. As a woman, you may tend to think about things a lot and turn them over and over. Like: How does he do that or why doesn’t he see it this way? The devil wants to stir up those thoughts and to cause division in a marriage. Jesus said not to think about what you’re going to say and this can apply to these situations. God is the one who calms. The devil makes us obsess about a problem. He tries to keep the argument going in a marriage, to keep us mulling things over in our minds that happened. We want God to be the one leading the marriage, not living separate lives, but becoming the “one” God wants us to be.

Matthew 10:19-20 But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.

The real battle is not between each other but with ourself. When the devil is roaring we have to bring our minds in and fight the battle against self to have the right mind about things. The devil wants us to think wrong things about our disagreements with our spouse or someone else. God wants us to cast down ungodly imaginations and think on these things. God wants us to think things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and are of good report (Philippians 4:8).

Colossians 3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

Colossians 3:8-9 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

Jesus said don’t worry about basic human needs because he will provide. When you’re in a disagreement with someone, you may get into the “fight or flight” survival instinct for danger or harm. It can control your thoughts and physiologic functions so your heart starts racing and muscles tighten. It’s a natural, human reaction that isn’t wrong. God doesn’t want us to act in an unseemly or ungodly way when we have those reactions. God doesn’t want us to stay in survival mode when we’re interacting with someone. He wants us to realize the agitation is natural but he’s in control. “He has this” situation under control. We don’t need to feel we have to protect ourselves. We can step back from the conflict or opposition and know that God will take care of the situation.

Matthew 6:31-33 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

God has a blessing whatever the moment is in our day, whether it’s affliction, adversity, disagreement, or we’re having a great time. We have to lay aside the moment when we’re in a disagreement – let go of it and give it to God. God has a blessing in the moment even when negative things are happening to us. When you take your hands off and give it to God, you can enjoy the blessing. When you agree to disagree, make sure you’re continuing on your journey so your spouse or friends are going with you.

Psalm 118:24 This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.